How to Overcome Division

Today, we’re going to talk about how to deal with people who have different opinions about the vaccine or medical freedom than you. Together, Let’s figure out how to deal with people we truly love, we're truly connected with, who may not view medical decisions, the COVID vaccine, or even the severity of the pandemic through our particular lens.

How to Navigate my Opinions

How do we engage with someone we fundamentally disagree with? As you develop your opinions and ideas, it’s very apparent that others can be radically different than you and your families. So, how do we navigate through some real differences?

The way that we are navigating this is that we are learning how to honor the concept of free will. And that is a very difficult concept to honor. It's very rare in our world today and in various cultures that people are taught the beauty and joy of free will. There's so much fear around people making choices that will be harmful to them. And in this case, there's a lot of fear about people making choices that we perceive will be harmful to us. If we don't learn how to combat that fear, we will not be able to maintain relationships.

If we don't figure out how to navigate differences of opinion and behavior, we will cause great harm to ourselves and to those who come after us. Having a difference in opinion with others is okay and it will be very helpful to understand that the only thing you can control is how you behave and what decisions you make.

Art of the Preface

The art of the preface is preparing somebody for what they're about to hear, not because you are being manipulative, but because you want to have a productive exchange with that person. And if you know that their nervous system is going to be highly activated by something you’re going to bring up, you can say to that person, ‘I'm a little nervous about talking to you about this but I do want to talk to you about this, because it's important, and I don't want to have this cut off from you.’ 

That person will then have a subconscious calming of the nervous system, they prepare themselves to be less reactive. Then the communication has a tremendously higher chance of being productive, which does not mean agreement. If you’re sharing your thoughts and feelings to convince someone or to scare them or to manipulate them, then that is not a good reason to share your thoughts and feelings.

These conversations are largely driven by fear on both sides, whether or not you're pro or anti or you feel like there are some nefarious things going on or it's all benevolent and for our good, a lot of fear is part of this conversation and fear activates our central nervous system. And with this communal trauma of the global pandemic, most of us are having a very difficult time acting as our highest selves because we are not able to calm our nervous system.

World Wide Division Vs. My Mental Health

Sometimes, we will have to say to others, ‘I don't think I have the ability to stay calm in this conversation’. We do not have to talk every time somebody wants to talk about these topics, the goal is that if we choose to talk about it, we choose to talk about it from a place of resource and from a place of calm, and from a place of connection. And sometimes, others can not do that.

You are in charge of keeping your side of the street clean, you can not manage what anyone else is doing. If you are operating in a healthy, connective, peaceful way, that's all that you can do. Think about the importance of that person in your life, we want to remember or give grace or the benefit of the doubt to their intentions. We want to also be careful that we don't excuse our own maladaptive poor behavior by saying, ‘I'm only doing this out of love, I'm really beating you over the head with the stick of the vaccine because I love you” when we are engaged in conversation with other adults.

It is really important that we remember our regulation is self-regulation, and that we are 100% in charge of it. Ultimately, we can only control how we manage ourselves. 

Get Quiet, Still Your Mind

Speak and listen to your higher power about these issues. Then you can feel confident when someone has a different opinion, that you have made the decision with either source God, love, the universe. Knowing that with your higher power you have made the decision in tandem, with the benefit of knowing you have involved something much bigger than you. You don't need to defend your decision so much because you can be confident about it. You have made the right decision. And ultimately, that's all that matters.

It's okay to disagree.

Have you had one of these difficult conversations recently? How did you deliver your opinions and how did you control your responses and emotions when hearing the different opinions of others?

For additional tips on mental health, trauma, and so much more check out The Universe Is Your Therapist Podcast!

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