What is Sober Curious?
Have you ever wondered what would happen to your physical, mental health and even spiritual health if you stopped drinking?
We had such a fantastic response from our previous blog, How Do I Know If I Am Over Drinking, that we wanted to show you a different side of drinking and being sober.
I am in recovery, and I've been really open about that. We have people who have never had alcohol. We have people who have full-blown addiction and may or may not be in recovery. And then there's this whole gap in between, and that is what we are going to discuss today!
Let’s dive in!
Sober Curious
Ruby Warrington coined the term in her book, Sober Curious, which was published in 2018. She talks about the benefits of being curious about your patterns of alcohol use and that you can determine how you use alcohol socially and see if it's benefiting you or if it's not being benefiting you.
The thing I love about it is the “curiosity” part and the idea that when we are engaged in certain behaviors, we can be curious about their impact on us without having to shame ourselves or engage in “all or nothing” thinking.
Sober curious is even a little bit different than overdrinking because we don't yet fully know if we're overdrinking when we're getting sober curious; we're just checking it out. We're just tracking our alcohol consumption and seeing if there's anything we want to adjust. And one thing I'm aware of is that over the last two years, a lot of the people in my social circle have been drinking a little more than they're comfortable with. And I wouldn't necessarily classify them as alcoholics, but in private conversations, there's a theme that I've seen.
Alcohol Use Can Be On A Spectrum Or Continuum
We're looking at the idea that our alcohol use can be on a spectrum or continuum. We can have days, times, months, and even years when our alcohol use is less frequent. We can have days, times, months, and years where it's more frequent. And the curiosity about how we're using alcohol gives us an opportunity to use accurate information to inform and make our decision about what we want our relationship with alcohol to be going forward. The decision is yours. Nobody's requiring you to reduce your alcohol. You're just being curious about how you're using it.
What Is Alcohol Addiction?
Addiction is along the lines of alcohol dependence, and it comes with a lot of side effects and symptoms. When we're looking at the DSM-5, there's a list of symptoms for any kind of substance use addiction. with a full-blown alcohol addiction, the withdrawals are actually life-threatening. And so, if you have an alcohol addiction, you're likely drinking copious amounts every day.
If you are unable to go without alcohol for eight to 10 hours, that's a more serious issue that needs to be discussed with a primary care physician or an alcohol or drug addiction counselor to make sure that any type of cutting back of the use of alcohol doesn't bring about lethal withdrawal symptoms.
What Is Alcohol Abuse?
The idea behind alcohol abuse is that it is used excessively. It is used as a way of coping to avoid certain emotions. It is used as a social crutch more often than not; it is used to escape intolerable situations or intolerable memories.
The body is actually harmed by excess alcohol. Aside from the idea that we can have a hangover, excess alcohol starts to affect your body and your brain. When we are not being curious about it, when we're not aware, we can't really understand the effects that it's having.
Dr. Daniel Amen has talked about even one glass of alcohol causes brain damage, which is a very bold statement. And yet, he has the most experience with actually scanning brains and high-resolution brain imagery. His research is really solid and demonstrates that even one drink of alcohol can affect brain health.
The Steps of Sober Curious
How do you get sober curious, you ask? Here are the steps that have worked for our clients when they are assessing their own alcohol consumption:
Reflect on recent patterns of drinking.
Okay, so let's say I am drinking more than I used to two years ago. The pandemic has really been a catalyst for people to shift behaviors in less adaptive ways. And so if we go back pre-pandemic, I think that might give us some good information.
Track your consumption.
You could say, “I'm going to track my alcohol consumption for two weeks,” or “I'm going to track it for five days.” This will give you a more concrete example of how alcohol may be affecting you. That period of time can be of your own choosing. I have one client who stopped drinking socially when she started experiencing health problems, and she has been able to say, “it's not always going to be this way. I'm taking a break right now. I'm focusing on my health, and I want to do everything I can to give my health or my body a chance to be more healthy.”
Understand how your drinking changes in response to social activities you agree to partake in.
One of the things that are discussed in some of the research centers around how our socializing may have changed. Is your socializing more predominantly now focused on social drinking and less on non-drinking activities?
Whatever the period of time is, for you, some of the health benefits of not drinking or abstaining for a period of time are that there is typically less depression and anxiety. Now, you may not notice initially that there's a reduction because you may be feeling anxious about not drinking. But power through because we are rooting for you to live your healthiest and best life!
Perhaps trauma or toxic stress has triggered your relationship with alcohol to become problematic. This is a perfect time to get sober curios. If you are unsure if you even have experienced trauma in your life, I invite you to take our free quiz, Do I Have Trauma?
