Numbing Behaviors We Use to Avoid Feelings
After we have a trauma, we tend to avoid feelings that we've deemed negative, painful, or hard. When this happens, we start participating in activities that may distract us from those feelings and find ways to distract ourselves from the pain of negative emotions that we don't want to feel and associate with our past trauma.
There are several maladaptive coping mechanisms that can be used to escape our negative feelings or emotions—for example, spending copious amounts of time reading, watching TV or movies, overworking, drug or alcohol abuse, etc. Anything that we use as a distraction that can be imbalanced is something that we can look at as a potential for a maladaptive coping mechanism. Anything can work as maladaptive coping mechanisms to help us avoid the body sensations and the memories that occur after trauma. And a lot of times, these things will look fantastic to other people.
Adaptive VS Maladaptive coping mechanisms
Adaptive coping mechanisms are anything that is leading to your benefit, that isn't harmful, and that ultimately isn't going to get in the way of thriving emotionally, physically, or spiritually. Adaptive behavior allows the organism to extend its life to thrive and continue to grow. Maladaptive coping mechanisms are anything that will thwart your progress or health, whether it is physical, mental, or spiritual health. Maladaptive behavior ultimately will cause harm to the organism in some way, shape, or form.
There's always a good intention behind coping mechanisms, including staying away from overwhelming pain. And so if we understand that the intention is good but that the brain has found a less than optimal way of dealing with it through some avoidance, that can help us see more clearly, without judgment, what behaviors we're engaging in that are less adaptive.
Teaching your brain to go from maladaptive to adaptive
If we engage in behaviors that allow us to connect to ourselves, others, and a higher power, then those behaviors will be adaptive. If we have found behaviors that have helped us avoid the pain, we can introduce the capacity to feel or experience just a little bit at a time not to overwhelm the nervous system.
When doing this, we are practicing, widening our ability or our window of tolerance to experience some things in short periods. By doing this, our brain creates new neural pathways that are less frightening and easier to accomplish. We are teaching ourselves to stay in our bodies without the need for disassociation or maladaptive coping mechanisms.
How to stop
Awareness is one of the keys to change. If we don't have awareness, we can't even know that something would be beneficial for us to change. One way to stop and bring on change is the concept of a body scan. The idea is that you get somewhere quiet, where you have a couple of minutes, two to five minutes of quiet, and you go through, and you check out what sensations you're experiencing in your body. "Where do I feel discomfort? Where do I feel pain? What is aching in my body? What is my body trying to tell me? "
And if we think about those body scans as ways of providing ourselves with additional information, it's our body trying to help us, and if we think about it that way, it may be a little less daunting. The body scan would be something that you do for just a few seconds to up to a minute, and you pay attention without judging yourself.
We all have maladaptive coping mechanisms, whether we've had little trauma or big trauma. Any of the mechanisms you've done to get to this point and stay alive are great. If there's anything you're finding that's not leading to your best self or thriving, there are things that can be done. You don't have to do them today. But you can start by recognizing what you're using as adaptive and what you're using as maladaptive when those feelings are coming up.
For additional tips on mental health, trauma, and so much more, check out The Universe Is Your Therapist Podcast!
Come connect with us personally on Instagram!
